It's Party Time?

Hey guys!
Ilana K. here with some updates. We released issue #9, and that went over well. We were also written about in the school newspaper, The Tide, so props to them.

The holiday season's over...hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas, and I hope nobody got socks. Except Dumbledore, because he wants socks.

It's almost New Years, hooray! It's P-A-R-T-Y, it's party time, and you know why! Hey Ilana! (Hey what?) You're looking mighty fine, I said hey Ilana! (Hey what?) You blow everyone's mind! You've got to freeze (AH) and boogie on down, you've got to freeze (OOH) and turn yourself around!

There Are Three Of Us?

Yes. This is Steph S with my first post.

I don't actually have much to say, except for the fact that our blog now has fish.

Scroll down to feed.

Oh, and here's a picture of a narwal.

Hey Dude

My guitar teacher told me about this band "Beatallica" (a Beatles/Metallica parody band) about a year ago, but me being me, I chose not to listen until this very moment. I WAS WRONG, THIS IS AWESOME, THANK YOU SCOTT MARTIN. I just want you to look at the lyrics to "Hey Dude" and then listen to it 'cause it's fucking amazing.

Hey, dude - it's true not sad
Take a thrash song and make it better
Remember! That metal is in your heart
Then you can start to be a fretter

Hey, dude - don't be fuckin' 'fraid
You were made to go be a shredder
The minute you let us under your skin
Then you'll begin to be a fretter

So crank your amp and deal the pain
Hey, dude - you're fuckin' insane!
The rivers run red with blood of posers
And don't you know that he's the fool
Who plays it cool
But needs for his beer to be much colder

Hey, dude - never turn it down!
You must pound her, I mean Kip Winger
New wave of British heavy metal is in your heart
And you can start with Diamond Header's

So let it out! Let it in!
Hey, dude, begin
Don't wait for the Eye of the Beholder
You'll never know when bells toll for you
Hey, dude, you'll do
Just sling that flying-V 'cross your shoulder

Hey, dude - it's true not sad
Take a thrash song and make it better
Admit it! Metallica's under your skin!
So now begin to be a shredder

Click this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA_CgX2ihVg

Love,
Ilana K.

Fact-even more true.

true?

Good Times

No one ever writes on this thing...I just came here because the future looks pretty bleak for me. I am in the midst of writing an analysis paper and after that, I have to do college apps. So this is a happy medium that allows me to get nothing useful done.

So you might have received issue #8, if you didn't, we ran out of copies, sucks for you. But really...we made 100 copies and it costs money and time to do this. Just kidding, we'll make more copies eventually, but you have to ask.

We are eventually going to be featured on wickedgoodscene.com (when we get our shit together), so that's pretty cool, check it out.

Yesterday was Halloween, and of course, I went trick-or-treating, although I am 17. The kid in me just won't let go. Anyways, I was disappointed in the lack of trick-or-treaters, eggers, or sluts. Actually, there was nobody out...at all. Where were you guys? I mean it didn't even start raining until well after dark, so there was plenty of time for free candy. Either way, I got loads of candy and will be celebrating by being in a sugar coma for the next month.

The picture is of me and Jo all costumed out.

Happy November,
Ilana K.

Hey, Its Me Again

Its been a while, huh? So while I am procrastinating doing Sociology work, I decided I should come here and write. I see that the last entry was in June...what has happened since June? I can't say I remember, but an abbreviated version:

-I went to Portland, Oregon to attend Rock N' Roll Camp for Girls as an intern. The zine scene there is HUGE, and I actually got the chance to go to a Zine Symposium.
-Steph S. went to Florida to visit her friend Shannon, getting into all sorts of shenanigans there.
-Sarah P. stayed in Long Beach as a lifeguard and sat around all summer telling people to get out of the ocean.

We actually have recently been contacted by WickedGoodScene and our section of the site should be up by the end of the week, so hurrah! Ch-ch-ch-check it out. Also, our Halloween issue should be comin' out soon...ask Steph S. for the actual date. We'll keep you posted.

May your swords stay sharp,
Ilana K.

The Legend of the Well- Issue 6

The Legend of the Well

The well stood atop of Milldrix Hill. It appeared to be quite normal; its base made of stone, and old wood held up the pail. But here at the Thread, nothing is as it seems, and this well happened to be magical. The magic of the well was that the water inside had the ability to grant one wish per day, and creatures from all four corners of the universe sought its power.
There was one couple who believed that they needed their wish the most. Their names were Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill had just had their first child, but had not no money to support him. They actually had no money at all- not since Jill got pregnant at 17 and Jack developed something of a drinking problem. So, they sought the well and hoped to wish for a never ending supply of beer- they would have enough to sell and even more to keep Jack satisfied.
Another couple was just as desperate as Jack and Jill. They were brother and sister, and went by the names Hansel and Gretel. They had been held hostage by an evil witch for the past three months, and had only just escaped this morning. Their escape was quite the spectacle- Gretel distracted the witch by pretending to have a seizure, while Hansel snuck up behind her and knocked her out with her own broomstick. Then they flew on the broomstick for as far as they could, but eventually it crash landed in the woods a few miles west of the hill. The witch was still hot on their trail, so Hansel and Gretel wanted to wish that the witch could never find them.
Both couples arrived at the well at the same time. They immediately realized that they both wanted the same thing, and it got intense rather quickly. The two men began to fight, as the women were racing up the hill. Hansel wasn’t much of a fighter- he hadn’t eaten or slept properly since the witch had kidnapped him. Jack wasn’t much of a fighter either- he was always either drunk or hung-over. Right now, it was hard to tell. It was also hard to tell who was winning this fight- Every time someone got a good hit in, they would both fall over.
The women were more successful in their race. The hill was very steep, but they were both running on pure adrenaline. Finally, they both made it to the well. Gretel and Jill tied getting there and they were too ladylike to fight it out, so they decided a good game of rock, paper, scissors would do the trick. On the first round, they both pulled rock. On round two- they both pulled paper. On round three- Jill pulled scissor while Gretel threw rock. Gretel was overjoyed. She called for Hansel to stop fighting, and pushed Jill down the hill just because it felt like it was inevitable.
She began the long, strenuous job of pulling the water pail up the well. When she finally was able to grab the handle, she heard a loud explosion. The witch had found them, and had just turned Hansel into a new broomstick. Quickly, Gretel tried to wish the witch away- but it was too late. The witch had magically stolen the pail of water, and made a wish for herself- she wished that Hansel, Gretel, Jack and Jill (who were now in a heap dizzy and confused at the base of the hill) would become her slaves and never disobey her ever again.
I know, it’s a pretty horrible ending, but there is a moral thrown in there. Moral of Story- Never, ever try to use a wishing well to fight a witch. Oh, and as for Jack and Jill’s son- a millionaire found him. He is now well-supported by a team of British nannies and living life to the max.

Hey

Hey. I'd like to take a moment out of today's bullshit and give you guys a word of the day. Here it is:

"bombast"- this is pretentious, exaggeratedly learned language. When one tries to be eloquent by using the largest, most uncommon words, one falls into bombast

P.S. The picture is a member of Isenseven flashing his guns. What a cool guy.

Love,
ILANA

Issue #4- Campfire Stories... "The Adventures of Palmer and Butler"

BOOM! The first punch hit a freshman square in the jaw. The freshman fell to the floor, but a friend of his was quick to retaliate. Within 30 seconds, the entire hallway was involved in a major fight. It was underclassmen versus upperclassman, and they were fighting dirty. As the students punched, kicked, and fell- two prominent figures appeared in the midst of the insanity, and all fell quiet.
The silence lasted for about a second before kids started fleeing. As the students started to run, the figures were right on their tails, throwing threats of detention and in-school suspension their way. Now, you may be wondering what two people could be so commanding that their presence in the hallways literally forces students to cease disruption, but is it really a secret? These figures were none other than Ms. Palmer and Mrs. Butler.
Ah, Palmer and Butler, Long Beach High School’s very own dynamic duo. With their speed, their authority, and their devilish good looks, how could anyone want to get on the bad side of Long Beach High School’s deans? It’s a mystery to me too, but alas, these strong woman are put to the test everyday.
One day in particular was a challenge for our lovely heroines. The day started rather nicely, it was already fourth period and only one skirmish between two sophomore girls necessitated dean-intervention. Palmer and Butler were patrolling the hallways as usual, glad for this day of joyous rest, when they heard the first crash.
The crash seemed to come from the Science Research Lab, a place where very few people have access too. Literally 98.7% of students and faculty have never been inside this room, and for good reason. It is well known that the Science Research Lab, cruel experiments are done on lizards in polka-dotted dresses.
Following the crash, they heard screams, and several animal noises. Figuring it was just another experiment, they dismissed it and went on happily patrolling their beloved hallways, because even Palmer and Butler don’t want to get involved with the atrocity of Science Research.
The day went on very nicely, and by eighth period the deans were convinced that they wouldn’t have to go through any trouble that day at all. They decided to settle down in the Teacher’s Lounge for a cup of celebratory coffee, when the deans heard the unmistakable sound of riot breaking lose, and from the sounds involved, it was a riot involving not only students, but lizards as well.
Palmer and Butler scurried through the halls so fast, they would have received tickets if they had been in Point Lookout. They located the scene of the riot, and were absolutely shocked at what they found. The Science Research kids had built an army of not only giant lizards in polka dotted dresses, but reptiles of all kinds wearing dresses of every sort! To top it off, some of these dresses were spaghetti-strapped, which is clearly against school policy!
With so many rules broken, the mutant, cross-dressing reptiles were no match for Palmer and Butler. The reptiles learned how to fight from old Jackie Chan movies, and luckily Ms. Butler is an expert in Karate. Ms. Palmer prefers not to fight, and instead protect, which makes the deans such a perfect team. Butler takes down the enemies while Palmer throws them into isolation.
After an intense showdown involving multiple practices of martial arts, and a few throws worthy of the major leagues, the battle was won. But one question still remained: was this an accident, or was there something more going on here? Could this have been an attempt to overthrow authority, or maybe just overthrow the social breakdown of a high school?
Lots of theories are still flying around Long Beach High School about this day, but the truth is still unknown. All that is known is the facts, which we have stated previously. Needless to say, what ever happened in the Science Research Lab that day was odd, and that if it hadn’t been for Ms. Palmer and Ms. Butler, we would have been in serious danger. So The Thread kindly asks you, the students of Long Beach High School, to show a little love and give our deans a break by staying out of trouble.

Issue #5- Campfire Stories.... "Mailboxed"

“Whoa! Sweet pen! Where did you get that?”
“Well, yesterday, I was walking home from school, and made my usual turn on Pacific. As I walked by the corner, I heard a noise. It was a rather strange sound; I’d call it a mix between a rhinoceros’ roar (to be honest, I’ve never heard a rhinoceros roar, but I imagined it would sound like this) and a tap-dancing glass bottle of Coca-Cola. The sound seemed to be coming from the mailbox. I walked over to the mailbox, and was suddenly compelled to tap the top of it three times, then spin around in a circle while chanting in gibberish. I had assumed that doing so would result in something spectacular, or at least provide an explanation for the noise. So I did it. Unfortunately, nothing happened, besides receiving a few confused stares and feeling absolutely absurd. The sound didn’t cease. Embarrassed, and a bit disappointed, I gave up and decided to continue on my way home. As I waited for the streetlight to change, I lightly pressed the cross-walk button. Suddenly, the traffic light changed. That was expected. But also suddenly, the noise grew louder. I turned and looked at the mailbox again, and I noticed that as the sound grew louder, the mail box began to sink in the sidewalk. Here, I decided going home would be terribly anti-climatic, so I stuck around. After a minute or so, the mail box was a foot underground, and seemed to be going down a tunnel. To this day I don’t know whether it was the worst or best decision of my life, but I decided to hop on the mailbox, and see where it would take me. As I hopped on, I remembered that my weight would probably interfere with the speed of the mailbox, and I was right. The second I landed on top of the mailbox, the rate we were traveling drastically increased, and in less then half a minute, I was surrounded by darkness. I crash landed on a slimy, odd surface. I felt around. I seemed to be in some sort of ball pit, much like the ones at McDonalds, but it was very slimy. Yeah, it was pretty disgusting. I walked through the ball pit for a while. Eventually, I saw a light in the distance. I ran through the slimy ball pit towards the light. As I was running, I wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea, because in the movies they always said don’t go to the light at the end of the tunnel, but I figured the light was better then the slimy ball pit. I reached the light, and was hit by a sudden breeze. I walked through the light, and it was dark again. I braced myself for what could come next. Slowly, I took another step and my body began to freefall down. I fell for what seemed like eternity, but also felt like about ten minutes. When I finally landed, I broke my fall with my legs. It hurt. Badly. Through the pain, I looked around, but I couldn’t help but to smile. I had crash landed right in front of my very own house. Even cooler then that, my pockets were filled with an assortment of radical pens, so now I’m set for the rest of this year.”
“Dude! No way- that’s crazy!”
“Yeah, I know. It was a lie. I got this at Staples.”
“Ah, screw you.”

Zombies

Why hello thar!
Ilana here. Before I start, I'd like to say that today while I was sick in bed, I finished reading Paper Towns by John Green. He truly is the man. Anyways, I'd like to bring to your attention a topic of importance...the web comic Cyanide and Happiness. As much as I love xkcd and Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I would have to say that Cyanide and Happiness trumps them. Since the day I read my first comic, I was hooked into a never-ending swirling vortex of delicious humor. They have comics that reveal my true feelings on things, which is kind of lame I guess since the comics are shallow and inappropriate (although in a brilliant way). And as I sit here listening to Tenacious D, I'd like to thank Matt, Rob, Kris, and Dave for making it at all possible for me to be an immature jerk. So hats off to you guys. Hats off to your fans. Hats off to Tenacious D. I'm lovin' it.

Yours ever truly,
LanaLanaLana.

P.S. I almost forgot to give you some links.
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1647/
http://www.explosm.net/comics/191/
http://www.explosm.net/comics/628/
and one for good luck:
http://www.explosm.net/comics/411/

John Green, aka The Man

As an avid reader, I find nothing more pleasing than finding a book that is able to make me laugh, cry, then laugh so hard I cry. Thankfully, I've found something better than just one great book... I stumbled upon a great author who does this frequently.

I first came about John Green last year when I was assigned an outside reading project for my English class. I read his novel, "An Abundance of Katherines," and immediately fell in love with his writing style. He has the incredible ability to mix real life with comedy, and manages to throw in trivia facts all along the way. After recommending the book to all of my friends, I promised myself that I would find out if he had written any more books, and if so I would read them. Unfortunately, my life suddenly got really busy, and like many other promises I make to myself, I forgot all about my quest to find some more of John Green's works.

Recently, Steph S. told me how excited she was about some book she was reading. Being the book-enthusiast I am, I asked her what she was reading, and who it was by. To my suprise, she told me she was reading "Looking For Alaska," by John Green. She reminded me of the promise I made to myself, and like the true friend she is, she let me borrow the book.

I was not disappointed. John Green is the man. His stories are perfect for teenagers and young adults everywhere, and his plots are real enough so that his readers can relate, yet funny enough to be worth reading. He's written three novels so far, two of which I've mentioned, and another that I'm dying to read, "Paper Towns."

I was content with just reading his books, but then Steph sprung another little John Green suprise on me- he has his own YouTube channel! That's right, John Green and his brother Hank have countless videos on YouTube which are entertaining, and a bit intellectual. Well, a bit. :).

Alright, I guess that's enough for now. Bottom line- go look up John Green. You will not regret it.
-Sarah P.

Getting Started

For those of you who don't know, The Thread is a paper zine from Long Beach, New York. It's written, edited, and distributed entirely by Steph S., Ilana K., and Sarah P., with comics by Julia B. The purpse of the zine is to get our opinions out, show other people some cool stuff they might like, and to maybe even teach some readers something they never thought they could know. The Thread is free for anyone, and we really encourage everyone to read it. This here is a blog from the editors of The Thread, just so we can tell you guys about all the cool stuff we want want to write about, but just don't have room for in our zine. So please, enjoy!