Issue #5- Campfire Stories.... "Mailboxed"

“Whoa! Sweet pen! Where did you get that?”
“Well, yesterday, I was walking home from school, and made my usual turn on Pacific. As I walked by the corner, I heard a noise. It was a rather strange sound; I’d call it a mix between a rhinoceros’ roar (to be honest, I’ve never heard a rhinoceros roar, but I imagined it would sound like this) and a tap-dancing glass bottle of Coca-Cola. The sound seemed to be coming from the mailbox. I walked over to the mailbox, and was suddenly compelled to tap the top of it three times, then spin around in a circle while chanting in gibberish. I had assumed that doing so would result in something spectacular, or at least provide an explanation for the noise. So I did it. Unfortunately, nothing happened, besides receiving a few confused stares and feeling absolutely absurd. The sound didn’t cease. Embarrassed, and a bit disappointed, I gave up and decided to continue on my way home. As I waited for the streetlight to change, I lightly pressed the cross-walk button. Suddenly, the traffic light changed. That was expected. But also suddenly, the noise grew louder. I turned and looked at the mailbox again, and I noticed that as the sound grew louder, the mail box began to sink in the sidewalk. Here, I decided going home would be terribly anti-climatic, so I stuck around. After a minute or so, the mail box was a foot underground, and seemed to be going down a tunnel. To this day I don’t know whether it was the worst or best decision of my life, but I decided to hop on the mailbox, and see where it would take me. As I hopped on, I remembered that my weight would probably interfere with the speed of the mailbox, and I was right. The second I landed on top of the mailbox, the rate we were traveling drastically increased, and in less then half a minute, I was surrounded by darkness. I crash landed on a slimy, odd surface. I felt around. I seemed to be in some sort of ball pit, much like the ones at McDonalds, but it was very slimy. Yeah, it was pretty disgusting. I walked through the ball pit for a while. Eventually, I saw a light in the distance. I ran through the slimy ball pit towards the light. As I was running, I wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea, because in the movies they always said don’t go to the light at the end of the tunnel, but I figured the light was better then the slimy ball pit. I reached the light, and was hit by a sudden breeze. I walked through the light, and it was dark again. I braced myself for what could come next. Slowly, I took another step and my body began to freefall down. I fell for what seemed like eternity, but also felt like about ten minutes. When I finally landed, I broke my fall with my legs. It hurt. Badly. Through the pain, I looked around, but I couldn’t help but to smile. I had crash landed right in front of my very own house. Even cooler then that, my pockets were filled with an assortment of radical pens, so now I’m set for the rest of this year.”
“Dude! No way- that’s crazy!”
“Yeah, I know. It was a lie. I got this at Staples.”
“Ah, screw you.”